Breathe In, Breathe Out

First off, I could’ve made a million terrible pun titles with the word “Namaste,” so you’re welcome. 

I am not what you’d call an athletic person. I’ve never been big into team sports, I own a grand total of two workout leggings, and running is one of my top least favorite activities. That being said, I do recognize the value of daily exercise, if not for any other reason but my mental health.

I’ve long had problems with anxiety—I couldn’t tell you exactly since when, as I’m sure most other affected people would say. But I do know that I’ve been trying to figure out (and I mean actively figure out) ways through it for the past two years. I’ve tried sleeping at more regular and reasonable hours, going to counseling sessions, meditating. And while these remedies have more or less helped, and although I know it won’t ever really be ~gone~, I couldn’t seem to get to a point where I felt I had my anxiety under control.

A doctor I met with last semester threw one word at me: Exercise. And I thought, Oh, God. Just another thing I have to add in my list of things to do. He gave me an article, one that I’ll include here for your further reading pleasure, which TL;DR professes exercise as one of the most effective and organic forms of medicine. Basically, the activity I’d been cutting out of my daily routine was probably one of the best ways to help with anxiety.

Then he threw another word out on the table: Yoga. And again I thought, Oh, God. Does he want me to become a granola yogi fanatic? But as he explained more to me, how yoga can help control your breathing, boost your mood, etc., it started to make more sense. Slightly more appealing, even, but definitely more rational. Plus, it’s an activity that can very easily be begun if you have YouTube, a mat, or even a bath towel. I was fed up with making excuses for myself at this point--which was good, since I pretty much had no excuse to avoid trying it anyway. 

When I say I started slow, I mean sloowww. I literally just typed in “yoga exercises” into the search bar and went with (and am still with) the first channel that came up. It’s called Yoga with Adriene, and I cannot recommend it highly enough for someone who is remotely interested in yoga. She has routines for EVERYTHING: yoga for anxiety, for abs, for bad knees, a bad back, yoga for wedding prep (you think I’m joking). There was even a routine for yoga when you’re sick, which came in handy last week (see last blog post for reference). Videos can range from 15ish minutes to 40, so there's always something that can fit my needs and schedule. As my self-proclaimed yoga instructor, Adriene is also the perfect balance of delightfully cheesy yoga proverbs ("If you fall, we'll catch you") and laidback humor that's hard not to like. It's a yoga, meditation, and positive self-talk session all rolled into one. And it's all for free!

*Not me, as I am still searching for a rooftop on which to do this

I’ve come pretty far since the early days. I've surprised myself with how far I can push my body's limits, and have been able to build up my own inner and physical strength in ways I otherwise wouldn't. One of the credos of yoga is "If it's starting to hurt you, you're doing it wrong," and I've come to find the difference between forcing things versus naturally letting them happen. In an odd way, then, yoga has taught me patience: patience with myself, my body, and being ready to go that extra mile (or in this case, hold a pose for that extra second) when I know I can. When I once was unable to do a downward-facing dog without bending my knees 90 degrees, I can now do one bending them at a mere 85. In all seriousness, though, yoga has really transformed not just how I view myself, but also—wait for it—the world around me.

At its core, yoga is just about breathing. Sounds like oversimplification, but it’s true. If a pose is hard, you breathe through it. If you’re transitioning between poses, you breathe though it. If a stressful or worrisome thought enters your mind while you’re practicing, you breathe it in, and breathe it out. When you think about it, it’s almost like a 20-30 minute metaphor of how to live the rest of your life. Things may change, feel unbearably hard, negative thoughts may weigh you down, but it’s important to keep breathing through it all—as slowly and steadily as necessary to be able to continue on.

It’s gotten to the point where I actually look forward to the hour I set aside for yoga. No, I'm not doing headstands left and right or chugging green juice afterwards, but it is my chance to unplug for a while and focus on myself. The day moves by so fast that it can be so easy to forget to do that. So while most of the time you’ll hear me grumbling about how “there’s not enough hours in the day” to do everything I need to do, I always somehow find time to unroll my yoga mat, put in my headphones, and do something that will never fail to be good for me.

Whatever it may be for you—yoga, running, perhaps a very intense dance party—I can confirm it’s never a bad idea to exercise. Doctor’s orders.